It's Whatever

a deep, cleansing exfoliation of the thoughts, with a hint of mint

Girls – Horror or Comedy? February 19, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — omahgawditzljk @ 4:58 am

my sister convinced me to use my “on demand” powers for good to begin a sick obsession with hbo’s girls. i have now watched eight episodes of season 1 in a little over four hours, and i have some things i’ve thunked along the way:

1. hannah has a really awesome way of shaking her head whenever she’s talking about something that excites her. it’s like a quick shake to the left and right, and then her hair moves about like long, floppy dog ears. i wish my hair did this. all my hair does is turn into a tangle of weeds if i don’t shock it straight with a flat iron. i also wish i got excited when i talked about topics such as date rape during job interviews. oh hannah! put a muzzle on it!

2. i kind of want the characters to morph into samantha, charlotte, miranda and carrie. i realize the appeal of this show is that the girls are a modern-day, younger, more realistic version of the SATC crew. the thing is, this version makes me realize that sometimes the point of TV is to give girls false hope that they too can become columnists who spend their entire salaries on jimmy choos and can still afford an apartment in manhattan. i don’t want to be reminded that there are other struggling writers out there who have weight issues and worry about paying for panty hose at the hometown drug store. c’mon TV magic. show me some size 0, chain-smoking, STD-free sexaholics! also, wouldn’t it be so wild if these girls really DID morph into samantha, charlotte, miranda and carrie, like the power rangers? and then kicked the asses of the guys from mad men? and then ryan gosling showed up with his dog and turned to the TV and went, “i wanna get wich you, lindsey.”

3. i can’t decide if someone is going to get horribly murdered as i watch each episode. each guy on here looks like someone i’ve seen on the first 48 hours… which my husband has told me makes him uncomfortable to see me watching with such concentration. i’m not going to kill you, shaun. who else will do the dishes.

but seriously, each episode is like 70% creepy. this adam fella… what is going on with his facial hair? he reminds me of a muskrat. he’s always showing up in weird places and hannah always seems a little unsure if he’s going to have violent sex with her or cut her into a million little tattooed pieces. if i was showering and turned around to see a guy in there with me, i would pink razor shave his face. actually, if adam showed up in there, he could use a razor to the face…maybe trim that pre-pubescent science project he’s got goin’ on on that chin of his.


and i always feel like something weird is going to happen. in almost every episode, something sexually strange goes down…on hannah. right now, two girls are kissing. did this happen in sex and the city? on that show, wasn’t it more like magical sexy time vs. maybe-someone-is-going-to-be-approached-by-their-older-brother sexy time? i just feel like this show portrays the single NYC life as one where you’re probably going to: do drugs, hook up with a dude that looks like he might have a knife for a penis, or forget to wear a bra.

so if you laugh at braless, awkward, struggling writers with a ┬ánaive take on life, then you might call this a comedy. if you’re afraid of muskrats, it’s horror… and if you like hannah naked and wearing yellow short-a-ralls, then┬áby god, it just might be romance.