It's Whatever

a deep, cleansing exfoliation of the thoughts, with a hint of mint

You’re Obviously Covering Up a Murder When… October 22, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — omahgawditzljk @ 1:17 am

you’re caught scrubbing the top of your SUV with the same elbow grease you put into washing your jeans when you get aunt flow all over them in the seventh grade.

that’s right, new neighbor. ¬†maybe it was the ladder you used to mount your car, or your repetition of the words “NO NO NO NO NO,” but i know it’s more than bird poo sticking to the top of your car. and, if twenty episodes of Friday the 13th has taught me anything, it’s that murder is everywhere. even in outter space.

i’m watching you. i’m sorry for the bastard whose innards are now splattered all over your honda. i like hondas. i don’t like cold blooded killers. i especially don’t like cold blooded killers with a case of OCD. let that spot go. your biggest worry should not be a stain, but your soul burning in hell.


also, you might have just been washing off bird poo. what do i really know.